


Down For The Count

by limit_breaker



Category: LEGO Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M, inappropriate use of exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 17:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7397701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limit_breaker/pseuds/limit_breaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>General Hux finds a new way to mess with Kylo Ren.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down For The Count

**Author's Note:**

> this is. so stupid.  
> I know. but it needed to be done or else my brain wouldn't let me move on with my life.  
> You can thank the Star Wars TFA Lego game for this utter nonsense.  
> Also it's really fcking hard to explain exercises in writing?

_One!_

The word roused Kylo Ren from his deep meditative trance.

_Two!_

Who was that?

_Three!_

And what were they counting?

_Four!_

Kylo tried to ignore the disruption and return to his meditation, shifting his position to correct his posture. He reclosed his eyes and exhaled.

_One!_

Ignore it.

_Two!_

Let it go.

_Three!_

His eyes flew open and he stood in a fit of rage. Who dared interrupt him during his meditation session? Didn't they know how important it was for Force-cultivation?

_Four!_

Wait. That voice was familiar...

_One!_

Suddenly, it was obvious whose voice was reaching him.

_Two!_

Of course. The only one on this ship who with the gall to challenge him. The only one in the entire Order who would go out of his way just to _spite_ him.

_Three!_

Hux.

Kylo quickly crossed the room to seize his helmet, shoving it down over his loose hair and clicking the mask in place. He snatched up his lightsaber and clipped it to his belt before stalking out the door in pursuit of the hateful general.

He tracked Hux's voice to the room just across the hall from his meditation chamber. What was this room used for? And why was Hux in there, counting so loudly, over and over? Ren didn't waste more time wondering; he used the Force to slam the buttonpad next to the door, causing the door to swish open and reveal...

_One!_

General Hux?

_Two!_

In a yellow, orange, and purple eyesore of a spandex jumpsuit?

_Three!_

Leading an exercise class?

The weak grip Kylo had had on his saber faltered and he let his hand fall to his side, watching dumbly as Hux bent and stretched in front of a small squadron of First Order officers. And... was that fucking Mitaka there in front?

“Ren, so nice of you to join us.”

Kylo's eyes snapped back to the speaker, Hux, who hadn't stopped his side-stretches, reaching one hand over his head as sweat trickled down his neck.

Hux changed positions to stretch his other side, briefly turning back to look at Kylo before facing his class again. “Well don't just stand there, MOVE!”

“What... are you doing?” Kylo asked.

Hux reached down to grab his toes, presenting Kylo with a fantastic view of his ass. “Aerobics, what does it look like?”

Kylo swallowed and looked away quickly, starting to forget why he was here. “Aerobics? Here? Now?”

“Lunges!” Hux shouted to his class before thrusting his right leg forward and dropping into a perfect archer's pose. “It's part of the First Order's new Reconditioning program. Is there a problem, Ren?”

Kylo's gaze lingered a bit too long on those well-toned glutes of Hux's and he fell silent, grateful that the mask of his helmet hid the way his eyes traced the curves of Hux's form. He wasn't even sure where these thoughts were coming from, certainly he'd never looked at Hux this way before. And he shouldn't be now. Shouldn't be gaping at the sculpt of calves, the way his thighs fill the form-fitting shorts he's got on, how thin his waist seems without his normal thick uniform layers, how delicate the thin bones of his shoulder blades look exposed like this.

“Switch!” Hux shouted as he lunged forward with his left leg, snapping Kylo's thoughts back to the present.

“I was meditating,” he said, finally, “And your little  _activity_  here is disturbing me.”

“I thought the entire point of meditating was supposed to help you learn to block out outside stimuli.” Hux said, uninterested, as he sank into the position with his other leg forward.

“No,” said Kylo, forcing himself not to focus on the way Hux's absurd outfit clung tight to the contour of his body. “True meditation means you are aware of outside stimuli, but can consciously choose to let it go.”

“I'm teaching aerobics, Ren, not semantics, but either way it sounds like your attempts at meditation are failing.”

“They are being _disrupted_ by your... whatever this is.”

“What a shame,” Hux lamented insincerely. “But, as I've told you, _this_ is an aerobics class and we've got this room reserved for the next 45 minutes, so either go back to your futile practices in self-discipline or get in line with the rest of the class. Perhaps some physical exercise will help with your poor mental concentration.” Hux turned to face him again, “But somehow I doubt that.”

Kylo's fingers traced the hilt of his lightsaber again, twitching anxiously on the ignition switch. _I'll show him._ Kylo unclipped the saber from his belt, dropping it to the floor.

Hux watched as the saber fell, a small smile the only movement of his features. “I warn you, Ren: this isn't for _beginners_.”

Beginners? What would give Hux any idea that he could outpace Kylo at athletics? The idea was laughable. The mask came off next, falling to the durasteel floor with a clang.

“Jumping jacks, begin!” Hux commanded. “One!”

Luckily Kylo hadn't put his boots on before marching over here, and the Darth Vader slippers he wore were easily kicked off.

“Two!”

Kylo ripped his long sleeve top off next, throwing it to the ground. True, beneath his robes and layers his crop-top shirt and suspenders get-up was ridiculous, but he was confident Hux would have nothing to say considering the fashion travesty the general himself was currently wearing.

“Three!”

Kylo stomped over to join the other exercisers, using the Force to fling several out of his way so that he could stand directly in front of Hux as he led the class. He would _show_ him.

“Four!”

He saw the corners of Hux's lips upturn as he caught up with the class. He got his own opportunity to grin moments later when he caught the general's gaze pausing on the rippling muscles of his eight-pack. Hux's eyes lingered there for only a moment before snapping back to Kylo's face and narrowing. He swore Hux started counting faster after that, as if he had something to prove.

“Back to yoga!” Hux announced after multiple jumping jack repetitions and several minutes of jogging in place were leaving some of the less-fit officers pink-faced and gasping for air. Kylo was doing everything he could not to show his own exertion. Hux himself had beads of sweat at his temples but his breathing was just as measured as ever. Kylo had to admit, he was impressed at Hux's stamina. He didn't think the prissy general had it in him to do much more than design computer simulations and yell at subordinates.

Hux paused to take a long drink from his pink water bottle and returned to the front of the class. “Last rep!” He announced. “Downward-facing dog.” As he said this, Kylo felt Hux's eyes boring into his own.

Kylo squared his jaw and went to the floor on his hands and knees, placing his palms flat against the cold floor, sliding his legs backwards. Exhaling, he lifted his knees up, his weight now supported by his hands and feet and bent at the waist to form his body into something of a triangle shape with the floor.

“Well done Phasma,” Kylo heard Hux saying as he walked around, inspecting his students. “Hmm, could use some improvement, Ren.”

Kylo kept his head firmly between his arms, flexing and focusing on the purple legwarmers Hux had around his ankles. Where did he even get those? Unexpectedly, he felt a heavy hand on the small of his back, pressing against his spine, straightening his posture. The hand slid upwards to his hip and was matched by another on the opposite side. “Like this, Ren,” Hux said, sliding a foot between Kylo's and kicking them further apart. “Feet should be parallel with your hips. That's better. Now feel the stretch from your lower back.” With a sudden movement, his fingertips dug bruising points into Kylo's hip and he jerked Kylo's pelvis skyward.

In front of everyone.

It was scandalous.

It was...

Kylo's face flushed as he struggled to ignore the most undesirable twitch in his groin.

“Keep practicing that one, Ren,” Hux said as he stalked around the other exercisers, each of whom was rightfully keeping their head down, eyes fixed on the floor.

Kylo couldn't help but to chance a look up as Hux returned to his spot at the head of the class and dropped into the downward dog position himself, stretching his tailbone, ass pointed high in the air. Fuck, he looked good like that. Not even the obscene pinstriped leotard could detract from that fact. He found himself startled to realize that perhaps Hux's observation about his wavering self-discipline had been quite astute... Kylo darted his gaze back to the floor, hating himself.

“Partner stretching cool down, start with the legs!” Hux called out, rising from the floor.

Kylo stood and looked around quickly. Phasma was here, and she would be a good partner given that she was roughly the same height, but when he caught a glimpse of her she was already sitting on the floor with her legs stretched out against some other young captain Kylo had never seen before. He pouted as he watched how the other officers all paired off so easily, leaving him alone in the middle of the room with the familiar pang of being alone, an outsider.

“S—sir?” Kylo spun around. It was Mitaka. Kylo grit his teeth. Sometimes there were worse things than being alone.

Mitaka sat down quickly, nervous no doubt, and waited for Kylo to do the same. As this was Kylo's first class, he wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to be doing, but he took his clues from the other pairs of exercisers: one would lie on their back, the other would take their partner's leg and, lifting it straight up perpendicularly, stretch out the hamstrings by leaning against it lightly. Kylo chewed the inside of his cheek, regretting that he had agreed to this, and hating Mitaka's anxious, flittering glances.

“I'm not doing this with you,” he snarled.

Mitaka swallowed nervously, his fingers worrying the trim of his gym shorts. “But... there are no more partners and... General Hux said--”

“Do you think I give a shit what he said?”

“Lieutenant, why don't you leave Ren to me?” Said Hux, coming to loom over the pair. Mitaka gaped up at him, probably overflowing with gratitude and Kylo looked away, scowling.

“But, sir, there are no other partners.”

“Then you are dismissed, lieutenant. Go fetch the end-of-session ice cream.”

“Y-- yes sir!” Mitaka stood hurriedly and saluted, rushing out the door.

“Looks like you need a partner, Ren.” Hux observed, seeming proud of himself. “Sit.”

Sneering, Kylo did so angrily.

Hux continued gazing smugly down his nose at Kylo. “Lie back and allow me.”

Kylo sucked in a breath, reclining and sticking his leg out for Hux to grab. He gave it a firm tug, kneeling between Kylo's splayed legs and pressing his weight forward against the leg in his grip. Kylo felt heat rising to his face when Hux was leaning forward far enough for their bodies to touch, the back of his knee resting against Hux's shoulder.

“This stretch is good for the hamstrings,” Hux explained, his fingers running along the back of Kylo's thighs where he was starting to feel the burn of a deep stretch. Kylo looked away.

“You're stiff, Ren,” Hux said calmly. “How long has it been?”

Kylo's eyes widened and snapped back to Hux's, blinking up up at him, cheeks flushing.

Hux quirked an eyebrow. “I meant since you last had a proper stretch.” He dropped Kylo's right leg and picked up his left, holding it at the thigh and repeating the stretch. Kylo had to look away again when he found the intensity of Hux's stare too much to handle in such a prone position. He cursed his body's betrayal as he felt that most unwelcome stirring in his trousers again as Hux pressed up against him.

“Although,” Hux said, voice dropping low enough to only be heard by Kylo. “It's nice to see you so... enthusiastic about exercise.” He bent in closer to breath into his ear. “You know, I do give _private lessons_. More _intense_ workouts, guaranteed to get your heart pumping and your blood flowing.” Kylo felt the palm of Hux's hand brush against his groin and inhaled sharply.

“Switch positions!” Hux shouted to the class. Kylo didn't move, lying there, stunned and now definitely half-hard.

Hux smacked him on the side of the leg. “I said switch!” He laid back, thrusting his leg into the air for Kylo to take.

Kylo scrambled to his knees. He seized Hux's leg and bent it back over him, making sure to press himself against Hux just the same way Hux had done to him. “You're rather flexible, I see,” he growled.

“A surprise to most,” Hux said, looking pleased with himself. His voice lowered again, “This may be the cool down stage, but I assure you; I'm just getting warmed up.”

Kylo bared his teeth, releasing Hux's right leg and repeating the stretch on his left. They said nothing but remained with eyes locked on each other-- Kylo still scowling, Hux smirking smugly. The longer their stare went on, the more Kylo felt his self-control faltering. His let his fingers slide slowly down Hux's thigh, just under the hem of his shorts.

“Okay! Class is finished for the day! Dismissed!” Hux shouted.

Kylo dropped his leg and pulled away quickly to hide that anything suggestive had been happening here, thereby of course making himself look all the more suspect. Luckily, no one seemed to noticed. And if they did, they were wise enough not to say anything. They didn't make it to the rank of officer for nothing.

As the group rose and collected their gym bags and water bottles, Mitaka returned pushing a small ice cream cart containing various flavors for the aerobics participants to chose from on their way out the door.

“Hux,” Kylo said quietly when the last officer had left the room, leaving only them and Mitaka with his tray of assorted ice creams.

Hux turned to look at him impassively, placing his pink cap squarely atop his head. “Yes, Ren?”

“You, um. Said something about private lessons?”

Hux's mouth twitched into a smile. “Come, Ren, join me for an ice cream and we can discuss the terms of such an... arrangement.”

==

**Author's Note:**

> idk what to say i'm addicted to crack ok.


End file.
